Looking back, I realize I spent the first 16 years of my life searching, questioning and wondering “is that all there is to life?” You know, the ‘standards’ – being born; getting an education, a job, a home; finding Prince Charming and having 2 beautiful kids. This tapestry section of my life was dark, as I felt there was more to life…
After chatting with a fellow clarinetist in grade 10 band class, I recognized a huge change in her from the year before. Now she had found a deep inner meaning, peace and joy. I told her that she seemed different and asked her how come? She responded with “Jesus changed my life.” I didn’t know who Jesus was. I wanted to find out more so for a year I studied Christianity and other religions.
Then I had a nightmare – 3 times in a row. In it, my dad was going to die and as he was dying I yelled out, “Dad, dad! Believe in Jesus; you’ll go to heaven!” That morning, I decided to take my own advice and spoke to God, asking Him to forgive me. I told Him that I believe Jesus died so that I can have a relationship with Christ and may one day enter the gates of Heaven.
A new tapestry design had begun…it was brighter because I now let God take part in my life. I admit that I’m a work in progress – I’m not perfect even though I have perfectionistic tendencies. God helps me with my worrying, jealousy, anger and pride, to name a few. Often, He used the tough times like the deaths of my mom, mother-in-law and friends to help me grow. Through this all, I realize that life is so much more than plain old standards; it’s about letting God use who you are for greater purposes.